Sympathy for Sarah

So she's flubbed a few lines during interviews... and keeps crib notes written on her hand like a seventh grader. So what? Haven't we all done that?

So she likes to get prayed-over so that "witches" cannot possess her. Big deal. Who doesn't?

It's all old news, yet so many people criticize her for these types of things. Sheeesh... picky, picky, picky. Why on earth would she need a working knowledge of the political process? She's a MILF, no need for actual expertise... or whatever...

There are more important things to scrutinize, you know.

My first question is: where did she manage to pick-up that fake "Fargo" accent? I was pretty sure we North Dakotans had a copyright on "Youbetcha." Has she paid royalties to the Cohen Brothers for literally using lines from their script? I think she could be using that accent illegally. This could be very serious. Perhaps this is a case of dialect infringement.

Would she start a State of the Union address with the phrase "Uffda, dontchaknow, it's been a rough year."? Well, at least she doesn't end every sentence on the upswing of a question, like some silly Valley Girl.

And another thing... why shouldn't she believe the Earth is only 6000 years old? We all know the flaws in science. And we all know her holy book is never wrong. So, what's not to like about this gal? She has all the answers. No matter that she can't actually verbalize them. She can telepathically send them to the ruler of the universe.

Besides, it's the truest form of feminism to vote for a woman. Especially one who can board a plane while in labor and never let the flight crew know, just in case she might need medical assistance. I mean, they might not have let her fly and she wanted to get home! That's not deceitful, she's just one determined lady!

Poor Sarah, she gets so unjustly criticized. We should vote for her in 2012 just on sympathy alone. Clearly, she has the judgement and integrity we look for in a world leader.

*cough*

American Burkha

The first time I saw film of a woman in the middle east walking down the street with sky-blue fabric covering her from head to foot... with a matching blue mesh to cover her eyes... I was immediately grateful I hadn't been born in THAT country. I thought about how lucky I am to have lived my life in a free country, one where I could go to school, vote, work, own property, and never have to be married unless I really, really liked the guy. To have so many choices, so many opportunities, and so many rights was suddenly much more clear and apparent to me than it had ever been before. Things I had taken for granted throughout my life suddenly seemed so precious and rare, especially in the glowing television light of the global society that we have become.

I promised myself to never again gripe about my job, or complain about the cost of rent, or the automatic increases in car insurance despite a spotless driving record. I even swore never to complain about my taxes (I know... call me "special"). I was one of the lucky ones who had a right to an education, the right to drive a car, and a right to say whatever I pleased. There are no men with sticks waiting to give me a lash or two should I be out in public without a male relative, or worse yet, inadvertantly showing a little bit of my ankle while walking down a dirt road in footwear of questionable sturdiness.

Hell... I served in the US Army. A Military Police Officer on a NATO anti-terrorist team. My pay was equal to that of the men who wore the same number of stripes on the collar of the same exact shirts. My platoon Sargeant swore at all of us equally when we ignored his commands. We all gossiped without gender bias about the baby-faced "Butterbar" who was our platoon officer. Male and female, black and white, religious or not, we were Americans. We were soldiers. We were equal.

My America was so distant from the world of that poor woman wearing the blue veil.

Since the day I first saw a bhurka, those thoughts have continued to cross my mind as daily newscasts of the middle east scroll across my big-screen HD TV. I sometimes feel guilty about that damn TV, and I feel it most acutely when I see the poverty and oppression in other parts of the world displayed on it's massive screen. But, a few other images have caught my attention lately. Another America slowly unfolding for all to see. It's the America that I didn't believe existed.

Now, it's not like a grew up in bomb shelter, isolated and alone. I had seen the old black-and-white footage of Kennedy, King, and Black Americans being blasted with jets of water from the fire hoses held by white men. As a child, it just seemed as distant to me as the old newsreels of Hitler. That was a long time ago. That was our history. That was certainly not the America of today.

So at first, it was mildly shocking but explainable, really. A man said on the local news: "I'm not prejudiced, but I just can't vote for a woman or a black." Hah! I thought...he's just "old school," simply raised in a different era. He's a holdover from days gone by. Most Americans don't feel like that. We've come so far since those days. My America, the America of today, outgrew the attitudes of this man. He was easy to ignore. He was irrelevant.

Then came the "birthers" and the "truthers." I was embarassed, at first. I could see why American's aren't taken too seriously by other first-world countries. However, there have always been those oddball conspiracy theorists. The ones we might listen to, and nod at, while wondering how quickly we can gently move away from them while passing their ranting on a street corner.

Then came the angry, religious nutjobs wearing tea bags on their hats. They travelled across the country to shout down anyone who opposed them. I watched this, with much of the world, in astonishment and with shame. But, I still thought that these people were an irrelevant and annoying minority. Just people sqwaking and presenting a real time demonstration of our right to freedom of speech and of the press.

Now, the talking psychobabble of people like Palin, Boehner, and Bachmann feed the irrelevant nutjobs, stirring them into a frenzy of crazy conspiracy theorists with guns. Guns they gladly tote to public events. These actions have a purpose, to intimidate their fellow citizens. To shut down any discussion. They would allow no opposition, if they could.  Think about it, who would counter-demonstrate against an armed mob of conspiracy riddled and paranoid bigots?

These people are like the men in Islamic countries that police the streets with sticks to smack anyone who gets out of line with what they believe. They would enforce their religions and their bizarre beliefs on everyone around them with no thought of democracy, and no voice for anyone except their chosen few... the American Imams.

Like a rabid theocrat, busily issuing fatwa's from a golden microphone, the would-be dictators spout propaganda like a gushing oil well. Teapartiers bandy about the word "liberal" in the same manner one might expect to hear the word "infidel." Ronald Regan has become a marytyr for their cause, an old man they can worship like an Ayatollah.

In the end, they would have us all wear an American Bhurka, to live under the oppression, fear and ignorance they so avidly pursue and engender in our media, churches, and politcal process. It isn't a pretty sky-blue and it doesn't have the drape or weight of a fabric. That gives us the illusion that it isn't here... but, it is. It is a veil of lies and enforcement of bigotry. And these people would have us all wear it.

Fireflies in the Universe

I wonder sometimes if there is life out there in the universe, as I suppose we all do.  I think many people, including me, would find it exciting and interesting.  I know a few people that would find it somehow comforting if we were not alone in our existence.  So, I try to imagine what could be out there.  I wonder what's out there right now.  But, I also wonder what has possibly been out there in the past, and what might come to exist in the future.  I was looking at some photos from the Hubble telescope and it struck me how entire universes look like little fireflies in contrast with the darkness of space around them. 


Have you ever been near a meadow at twilight? When I first moved up North, we went camping in Minnesota.  We sat by a campfire as the sun set in the summer warmth, near Lake Bemidji. Fireflies started to come out, and around the marshy meadow there were these wonderful flashes of light. One here... now one over there... As we sat and watched their twinkling, the kids ran around trying to catch one in a jar. It was the first time I'd ever seen fireflies.  When I think about that time, I think about how our existence parallels the infinite universe and those pictures from the Hubble, right on down to the fireflies.

In the countless eons that the universe has existed, of course there have been others planets with life on them. At least, that's what I think.  We humans tend to be a little small in our perspectives and we'd like to find life in this period of time, the same time as us. It's because we've been raised to think of ourselves as so important, I suppose.

What if life in the universe is like the fireflies in the meadow? I picture what I can of the universe in my mind, and imagine that we are just one of those little flashes of light... one here... now us... now one over there... but rarely at the same time. The flashes are so brief in the grand scheme of things, and our time here is so very limited.  I doubt we will find life in the universe, besides our own, during our little time to shine. But, it's out there... perhaps just not where or when we would like it to be.

In the meantime, I think we run around like children in the meadow trying to catch a firefly. We shout out to the universe, trying to capture something magical in our jar. It's great fun! Children often catch fireflies, but I have much less hope for us. The Universe is too big and mysterious, we are so small, and we are here for such a magnificently brief period of time. The chances that another civilization will spark at just the same time we do are quite slim, I suppose.

Othertimes, I imagine what it would be like if there were a consciousness in the universe that could watch life on different worlds glow and dim like the fireflies in the meadow.  Perhaps that is what a creator might see, but on a much grander scale of time and space than we can imagine.  I can't even conceive of a consciousness that big.

On the other hand, Dr. Stephen Hawkings was once asked what he thought the chances were of other life forms existing in the universe, and I thought his response was intriguing.  He said history shows us that when two different civilizations meet, the lesser developed one is usually in trouble. I remember hearing him say... "I think we should lay low." Perhaps if another civilization does exist and finds us, we would be like a firefly trapped in a child's jar... and subject to its' whims and fancy.  

It's all very fun to think about, but there's only one thing I'm sure of.  Our light will grow dim and another light will eventually shine. Just like the fireflies.

This was initially posted in my Yahoo profile in 2007.