Sympathy for Sarah

So she's flubbed a few lines during interviews... and keeps crib notes written on her hand like a seventh grader. So what? Haven't we all done that?

So she likes to get prayed-over so that "witches" cannot possess her. Big deal. Who doesn't?

It's all old news, yet so many people criticize her for these types of things. Sheeesh... picky, picky, picky. Why on earth would she need a working knowledge of the political process? She's a MILF, no need for actual expertise... or whatever...

There are more important things to scrutinize, you know.

My first question is: where did she manage to pick-up that fake "Fargo" accent? I was pretty sure we North Dakotans had a copyright on "Youbetcha." Has she paid royalties to the Cohen Brothers for literally using lines from their script? I think she could be using that accent illegally. This could be very serious. Perhaps this is a case of dialect infringement.

Would she start a State of the Union address with the phrase "Uffda, dontchaknow, it's been a rough year."? Well, at least she doesn't end every sentence on the upswing of a question, like some silly Valley Girl.

And another thing... why shouldn't she believe the Earth is only 6000 years old? We all know the flaws in science. And we all know her holy book is never wrong. So, what's not to like about this gal? She has all the answers. No matter that she can't actually verbalize them. She can telepathically send them to the ruler of the universe.

Besides, it's the truest form of feminism to vote for a woman. Especially one who can board a plane while in labor and never let the flight crew know, just in case she might need medical assistance. I mean, they might not have let her fly and she wanted to get home! That's not deceitful, she's just one determined lady!

Poor Sarah, she gets so unjustly criticized. We should vote for her in 2012 just on sympathy alone. Clearly, she has the judgement and integrity we look for in a world leader.

*cough*